Posts tagged Simple Acts
How to give to causes like a financial grownup with Simple Acts Author Natalie Silverstein
 

Author Natalie Silverstein returns to the podcast to preview her latest book: Simple Acts: The Busy Teen's Guide to Making a Difference

 
 
 

 

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Full Transcript:


Bobbi Rebell:
Hey, grown up friends. A big thank you to so many of you that have already bought my new book, Launching Financial Grownups: Live Your Richest Life by Helping Your (Almost) Adult Kids Become Everyday Money Smart. This book was not easy to write, because I had to get honest with myself about what was working with my teen and young adult kids, and what was not working. And I also had to be prepared to share it with all of you. So, first of all, thank you for your support and your wonderful responses to it. There's definitely some things in there that you may not have been expecting to hear. By the way, I got a lot of help from my money expert friends, and also financial therapists and parenting experts. I am really happy with how Launching Financial Grownups came out, even though it really was hard to be, like I said, that honest. And it was a lot of work, but I really love doing it. And I'm really happy with how it came out.

Bobbi Rebell:
On that note, if you have not already, please pick up a copy of Launching Financial Grownups today. After you do, please share it on social media. Please leave a review on Amazon. Those reviews are super important, because the algorithm picks up on them, and that can make the book a lot more visible to more people. So, I truly appreciate it, and I really also appreciate all of your support.

Bobbi Rebell:
That feeling of when you give, the generosity, the good feeling that you get back in return is totally, totally worth it. Another cup of coffee that's costing you $8 at a fancy coffee shop, you don't need that cup of coffee.

Bobbi Rebell:
You're listening to Money Tips For Financial Grownups. With me, certified financial planner, Bobbi Rebell, author of Launching Financial Grownups, because you know what? Grown up life is really hard, but together, we got this.

Bobbi Rebell:
Hey, grownups love that coffee reference in the open. And it is true. Whether the mission is to give to ourselves in the form of investing, or to give to others, thinking twice about the little ways money is sometimes mindlessly spent can be a good exercise. Friend of the podcast, Natalie Silverstein, is back to share her new book, Simple Acts: The Busy Teens Guide To Making a Difference. Among the things that we talk about is fundraising, how to ask people for money, something I personally find very hard to do, even when it is for a really good cause that I'm giving money to myself. We also talk about social media, and how teens, and really, all of us, can leverage our followings for good. Just quickly, before we roll the interview, I want to thank everyone who has picked up copies of Launching Financial Grownups. I am sending virtual hugs to all of you, especially if you took just a couple of minutes to write a review on Amazon. I'm trying to get a hundred reviews, and I need each and every one of you to help me get there.

Bobbi Rebell:
I'm not going to lie, it is hard to keep asking, but it's slow going. You guys are busy. I get it. The link is right in the show notes, super easy. Also, if you're just on the Amazon page where you bought the book, scroll down, find it right at the bottom where it says post eight review or leave a review. You get it. I need this, and I appreciate all of you who do it so much. On that note, let's move on. Here is my interview with a fantastic Natalie Silverstein.

Bobbi Rebell:
Natalie Silverstein, you are a financial grownup. Welcome back to the podcast.

Natalie Silverstein:
Thank you so much, Bobbi. And it's so great to be with you again.

Bobbi Rebell:
Well, I'm happy to have you back to celebrate the launch of your newest book. Simple Acts: The Busy Teens Guide to Making a Difference, which is a follow up to your earlier book, which was, Simple Acts: The Busy Family's Guide to Giving Back, which was published in 2019. And by the way, it was named one of the top books for parents who want to raise kind kids by the Huff Post. I am a parent of a teen as our listeners know. I wanted to know more about this, especially how things have evolved over COVID. So, tell us a little bit about the book, what's changed since the first book, what's added for teens and COVID. That was five questions in one, so I'll let you go now.

Natalie Silverstein:
Well, thank you so much. It's so good to be with you again. And congratulations to you on the new book. I love it. I have two emerging adults. I have a 19 year old and a 21 year old. And believe me, I am using your book almost daily now. So, basically when the first book came out, which was really geared towards families with young children, it came out in April of 2019. It was thrilling. And pretty much the very same day, on the day of my big party for the book launch, which was such a fun day, I had several people come over to me and say, "This is great, and I want you to sign it/ and it's awesome, but when are you going to write one for teenagers?" So, even the rabbi from our temple came over, and he's like, "This is awesome, but can you do one for kids doing bar and bat mitzvah and confirmation?"

Natalie Silverstein:
I'm like, "Okay, rabbi, can I just enjoy this moment for five minutes before someone asks me to write the follow up?" But I see the point there, which is that book was really for families with young children, and it was really about living our values and how we go through our days and setting this precedent for our kids and setting this example, role modeling this. And it's important, but it's really important as kids age and grow into compassionate and empathetic adults and young adults. And so immediately, I started thinking about the follow up. I had a proposal, and I got it out there into the world and I signed a contract, and literally was starting to write the new book in March of 2020. So, we all know what happened then. The world sort of shut down. I had a couple of months to write the book. And I was bereft, as everyone was.

Natalie Silverstein:
As schools shut down, my oldest child came home from her freshman year of college. She was disappointed, to say the least. So, we were all living together under one roof, remote school, remote everything. And it was tough. A mutual friend of ours, Erica [inaudible 00:06:23], reminded me that I should really write a little prologue, a little forward to the book, and explain the conditions under which I was writing this, and how for a few minutes there, I wondered to myself if this was really important. And I didn't know what was happening in the world. And my kids were just, again, bereft as everyone's kids were. They lost so much. And then slowly, day by day, as per Mr. Rogers, I looked around and I started looking for the helpers, right?

Natalie Silverstein:
And this was the story of the early days of the pandemic, certainly, where the only thing giving us hope, getting us out of bed in the morning was knowing that the situation was pretty dire, but there were people out there willing to literally risk their lives, to help us and to get our food delivered and to take care of those who were ill, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. So, the way that we got out of our sadness and depression and hopelessness was to volunteer, to engage, to send pizzas to the local emergency department, and to bake and to make blankets, and you name it. And that's what my kids and I did, when they weren't doing online school for those first few kind of really tough months. So, it was that mindset that sort of informed the work. I had an outline. I knew what I wanted to talk about, but it really re-energized my belief that serving others, caring for others, turning our focus outward helps us to feel better and to feel more hopeful, to feel less isolated.

Natalie Silverstein:
And so I just really felt like this was a message that teenagers, in particular, needed to hear, because they had really lost so much. So, the book emerged from that. It is written for teens, as opposed to being written for parents. And so that was an important piece of it too, because I didn't want to be preachy, right? I didn't want to talk down to kids. I didn't want to be corny. In your book, you talk a lot about speaking to your kids in a way that isn't preachy, that isn't nagging, right? You want them to make these choices and these decisions, you want to give them options, but you want it to come from them, and you want to encourage them to come up with these ideas, these things that they're passionate about so that they can find their purpose and they can connect to it. And that's how we're going to get them to do the work long term and to stay engaged in it.

Bobbi Rebell:
So, let's go over some of the money tips that you have in the book, because money does make a big difference when it comes to helping organizations. It does matter. It's important to be there in person too, but money can make a huge difference and should never be underestimated. The first thing that I think a lot of people find really hard is fundraising. You say it's easier than you think. Tell us how is it easy, because I find it totally intimidating. I've done fundraisers. It's hard.

Natalie Silverstein:
It is. It is hard. It's sort of funny. I've done a ton of fundraising for our kids' school, for our temple, for other organizations. I actually don't have a problem asking people for money, because I remind myself that the worst thing that someone can say is no. And if you're passionate about something, if you really care about an organization and its mission and what it is trying to accomplish, you're not asking for yourself. I'm not asking you for money so I can put it in my own pocket or go buy myself something. I am asking you to come on board with me. And it's also requiring me to express to you, to articulate to you why this cause is so important and why it matters, and why your donation will make a difference and how. And so I find that fundraising is this really wonderful way to distill what it is that you care about, why, why you have decided to give some of your very hard-earned money to this cause to help, and why it is worth trying to convince others to do the same.

Natalie Silverstein:
And so I think there are so many skills here that I've just described that I think we want our young people to have, which is understanding what they care about, knowing how to articulate it, and really trying to convince someone else, and then also developing kind of a thick skin. Because again, the worst thing that someone can say is no. You say, "Thank you. Thanks for consideration. Thank you for your time today." And you move on. And you need to let that sort of roll right off of you. I find, in asking people for money, people aren't typically rude about this. I'm not talking about cold calling, but I'm saying, asking folks, who you have their attention and talking about this fundraising issue. I think most of the time, people are receptive to this. They support the effort if they can. If they can't, they will apologize and say, "I'm sorry, I can't help you today," or whatever it is. I really think that this is a great life skill.

Bobbi Rebell:
You point out that money is important. No matter how much you make, you do have something to give. It doesn't have to be only about dollars.

Natalie Silverstein:
Right. Absolutely. I want kids to really tap into... And you'll see, there's a chapter of the book that really talks about what's your, why? What are the things that you're passionate about? And then what are your talents, your skills, your strengths, the things that you enjoy doing? And I want people to be sort of expansive in their thinking about this. When I say talents, I don't mean, are you a concert pianist? I mean, are you particularly strong? Are you really patient? Do you love to read? Do you have really neat handwriting? Are you great with technology? Which let's face it, every teenager is. They're technology natives. Can you go to a senior center and help elderly folks to learn how to use their phones, or how to use the FaceTime so that they can communicate or Zoom with their families? Every single kid has a talent or a gift or a strength that they can share. And they might not know it. And a lot of kids are very insecure, especially after these last few years.

Natalie Silverstein:
And they probably feel like, "Ugh, I don't really have anything special about me. What could anyone use that I have?" But every single kid has something special about them that they can share.

Bobbi Rebell:
Consistency is something that you talk about as being very important. Once you choose a cause, especially if it's a school you maybe went to, your alma mater, or whatever it is, to consistently to have. I think that's important, because you can make more of an impact if you're more consistent with one organization, whether it be small or large. Having that ongoing relationship can be really meaningful in your life. I have found that myself.

Natalie Silverstein:
Yeah, absolutely. I think there are a few things here. There are organizations that where you can set up to have a monthly donation come automatically out of your bank account or out of your PayPal or whatever. So, we do this with God's Love. We deliver here in New York City. I automatically give them some very small amount, but it comes out of my bank account or my credit card every single month. So, I don't even think about that. That automatically goes to them. And so consistently, over the course of years, that adds up, right? And then in terms of your alma mater or giving to a school or to another organization... I got a scholarship when I went to college. I don't know about you, Bobbi, but there was no way I was going to college unless I got scholarship money and loans and work study. My parents were immigrants, and I was the first of my family to go away to college.

Natalie Silverstein:
And the school that I attended was able to give me an academic scholarship, which meant that I got a certain amount of money, I want to say about $5,000, if I stayed on the Dean's list every semester for four years. So, this was a motivator for me to do well and to work hard in my academic work. I also had work study money that came in, so I worked a job. And that money bridged the gap and made it possible for me to attend college. So, my mom said to me, and they were not big philanthropists. They had come here with nothing in their pockets, not speaking the language. And they said to me, when I graduated, "They helped you. They gave you this gift of this scholarship money.

Natalie Silverstein:
It is your responsibility to give something back to the college, as much as you can when you're working." So, my very first job... I graduated in 1991. And I recently checked with the alumni office. I've given a gift to my college every year since 1992. Now, those dollars were not huge. Probably in the beginning, it was probably $25 or something, a hundred dollars. I don't know, but that adds up. And any development professional will tell you, it almost doesn't matter. Consistency is what matters. Participation is what matters. The loyalty to this, that I believe in this school, and it is important to me for my family to give back. And PS, over time, as my circumstances have changed, I've been able to increase that amount. And so that's just golden. And I think that's so important, and it makes me feel really, really great.

Natalie Silverstein:
And so I think having those types of things in your life, the things you really care about, you can show that you support this cause. This is important enough for you to set aside some money. As we know, there's been a lot of studies done, that those who do tithing in their religious communities, et cetera, typically folks who have less money give more as a percentage of their income, because it is just kind of what they feel is expected of them, and it's how they want to give back to support this organization, this cause, this community. And so I would just encourage young people to think this way, and to know that they always have something to give. And that feeling of when you give, the generosity, the good feeling that you get back in return is totally, totally worth it. Another cup of coffee that's costing you $8 at a fancy coffee shop, you don't need that cup of coffee, right? That $8 can probably make a bigger difference for an organization that really needs it. And I just want young people and teens to think about that.

Bobbi Rebell:
You also talk about using social media.

Natalie Silverstein:
I don't know about you, but I only want to follow and look at positive messages online. There is enough bad news in the world, if I try and watch any of the nightly news. I don't need to see negative messages on Twitter or Instagram or Facebook or anything else. So my account, which is simpleactsguide, all I do is promote the volunteer work that I do, the organizations that I support, other folks that I know who are doing good things. I just amplify amplify, amplify positive messages. And if I'm doing great out in the community, or I'm fundraising or I'm volunteering somewhere in a hands on way, and I want to share that, I just blast that out.

Bobbi Rebell:
Tell us where people can follow up with you on your socials, and also your website and key resources.

Natalie Silverstein:
I am @simpleactsguide. That's the Instagram account. That's my main platform really, because I love using photographs. So, simpleactsguide. And that's also on Facebook. And that's also the website, simpleactsguide.com.

Bobbi Rebell:
Natalie Silverstein, thank you so much.

Natalie Silverstein:
Thank you so much, Bobbi. It's such a pleasure to be with you.

Bobbi Rebell:
Natalie had so many great ideas. Again, a reminder full transcripts on my webpage, Bobbirebell.com, so no need to take notes. I follow Natalie, by the way and her simpleactsguide account on Instagram, and it is always a mood lifter and motivator. So, please make sure you are following her. And the simpleactsguide has a separate page, so follow that too.

Bobbi Rebell:
What is motivating you guys this summer, besides obviously Natalie? Please follow me on Instagram a@bobbirebell1, and on Twitter @bobbirebell, and DM me to let me know that you are part of the Financial Grownup community, so I can follow you back. And then let me know what is motivating you. What's getting you excited, especially with so many things finally opening up. And even though it is so crazy expensive, I know a lot of us are really getting down to it and taking those vacations that we have put off for so long. For more on Natalie, please check out our show notes.

Bobbi Rebell:
You can get those right on my website, bobbirebell.com, where you can also get our free newsletter, and as I mentioned, free transcripts of every podcast. I also want to support your company or organizations that you care about by being part of upcoming events that you might have, or if you have a need for personal finance education or consulting, get in touch by going to the work with me section on my website. I'm looking forward to hearing from you guys. I can't wait to hear back from everyone after you check out Natalie's book as well. As a reminder, it is called Simple Acts: The Busy Teens Guide to Making a Difference. And big thanks to Natalie for always making sure we are at our best as financial grownups.

Bobbi Rebell:
Money Tips For Financial Grownups is a production of BRK Media, LLC. Editing and production by Steve Stewart. Guest coordination, content creation, social media support, and show notes by Ashley Wall. You can find the podcast show notes, which include links to resources mentioned in the show, as well as show transcripts, by going to my website, Bobbirebell.com. You can also find an incredible library of hundreds of previous episodes to help you on your journey as a financial grownup. The podcast and tons of complimentary resources associated with the podcast is brought to you for free, but I need to have your support in return. Here's how you can do that. First, connect with me on social media @bobbirebell1 on Instagram, and bobbirebell on both Twitter and on Clubhouse, where you can join my Money Tips For Grownups club. Second, share this podcast on social media, and tag me so I can thank you.

Bobbi Rebell:
You can also leave a review on Apple podcasts. Reading each one means the world to me. And you know what? It really motivates others to subscribe. You can also support our merch shop grownupgear.com, by picking up fun gifts for your grownup friends and treating yourself as well. And most of all, help your friends on their journey to being financial grownups by encouraging them to subscribe to the podcast. Together, we got this. Thank you for your time and for the kind word so many of you send my way. See you next time. And thank you for supporting Money Tips For Financial Grownups.

 
Financial Grownup Guide - 4 Kindness tips for Grownups with Simple Acts author Natalie Silverstein
FGG - Natalie Silverstein Instagram

Part of being a grownup is learning to be thankful for what we have, and to give back. It all comes down to simple acts of kindness. We speak with, Natalie Silverstein,  the author of Simple Acts. The Busy Family’s Guide to Giving Back who shares specific ways even the busiest of grownups can give back to the community in ways that make all of our lives richer. 


4 Kindness Tips for Financial Grownups

  • Ask what is needed- actually talk to the organization

    • If you want to help in your community, think about the things that you can do. If you’d like to help a particular organization, reach out to them to see exactly what it is that they could use help with.

  • Use your skills

    • You don’t necessarily have to have a special skill to be able to help. It can even be as simple as helping an elderly person to learn how to use a computer, a phone, or write an email.

  • Make it social

    • Doing a service project with friends or family can make things more fun for everyone. This also is a great time to bring your young children in to help. Children love to help!

  • Tell other people and invite them to get involved

    • If you share with others about how they can do good things, they are often times very excited to learn more and to become involved themselves. Sometimes others just simply don’t know where or how they can help.

Episode Links:

Blinkist - The app I’m loving right now. Please use our link to support the show and get a free trial.

Natalie’s traditional Financial Grownup episode

www.DoingGoodTogether.org

www.SimpleActsGuide.com

Natalie’s book Simple Acts

Follow Natalie!

Some of the links in this post are affiliate links. This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission at no extra cost to you. All opinions remain my own.

The payback to giving back for Financial Grownups and their families with Simple Acts author Natalie Silverstein
Natalie Silverstein Instagram

Philanthropist and "Simple Acts" author Natalie Silverstein learned first hand the power of empathy when her 7-year old son surprised her with a true act of kindness. She shares that experience along with specific ways Financial Grownups can give back to their communities with their family and friends. 

In Natalie's money story you will learn:

  • How the verbiage we use with children about those less fortunate than us can be so important

  • The importance of knowing that all kids are different and learn at different speeds

  • How, when her son was about 7 years old, he knew that a homeless man in the subway needed help and proceeded to give all he had at the time

  • Natalie and her son, now 16, had a very similar experience just recently where her son, once again, gave all that he had

In Natalie’s money lesson you will learn:

  • Why it's so important to keep the lines of communication open with our children

  • The importance of sharing our resources with our children while they are still young

  • How showing our children gratitude for what we have can be so meaningful to them

  • Showing our children how we can help people that don't have as much as they do

  • The way we word things to our children can have an impact of how they view those people who are less fortunate

In Natalie's everyday money tip you will learn:

  • If you have a child celebrating a birthday they can make a donation to a charity of their choosing at one of the websites listed below to help them learn about donating money

In My Take you will learn:

  • The subtitle of the book is The Busy Family’s Guide to Giving Back. If you don’t have young kids- don’t let that stop you. Pick up Natalie’s book and get going. 

  • Plan ahead for how you are going to interact with people that may be less fortunate than you.


Episode Links:

www.EchoAge.com

www.KidsCanGiveToo.com

www.SilversteinFoundation.org

Check out Natalie's website -

www.SimpleActsGuide.com

Follow Natalie!


Transcription

Nat Silverstein:
Very quietly, he didn't even look up while he was doing it, he unzipped the little side pocket and he pulled out a nickel, and when the man came by, he kind of quietly put it in his cup, didn't look up at him. He obviously understood that he had something that he didn't need, and that he could give it to this man.

Bobbi Rebell:
You're listening to Financial Grownup, with me, Certified Financial Planner, Bobbi Rebell, author of How to Be a Financial Grownup. And you know what? Being a grownup is really hard, especially when it comes to money. But it's okay. We're going to get there together. I'm going to bring you one money story from a financial grownup, one lesson, and then my take on how you can make it your own. We got this!

Bobbi Rebell:
Hey everyone. This story you just heard a preview of at the top of the show literally gave me chills when my friend Natalie shared it with me, and there's more where that came from. I'm really excited to share this interview. I also want to thank everyone, truly, for joining us. The show is really picking up steam and that's because of you. The support that you've been giving to the show is priceless, especially when you not only subscribe but also tell friends about the show. I just wanted to say an official thank you again. It's really appreciated. We grow one listener at a time.

Bobbi Rebell:
Let's talk about Natalie Silverstein. She is a really big deal. Natalie is a frequent writer, speaker, and consultant on the topic of family service, presenting to parents, educators, and children, and I got to know her, actually, when our children went to school together. As you will hear, she was the go-to mom if you wanted to do something good with your kids, a service project, volunteering, and so on. I remember taking my son to different activities suggested by Natalie when he was younger. Very hands-on, getting it done. Natalie runs the New York chapter of Doing Good Together and has just come out with her first book, Simple Acts: The Busy Family's Guide to Giving Back. When I was reading this book, I could literally hear the voice of Natalie behind the writing, that's how intensely personal this book was for Natalie.

Bobbi Rebell:
With that, let's just get to the interview. Here is Natalie Silverstein.

Bobbi Rebell:
Hey, Natalie Silverstein, you're a financial grownup, welcome to the podcast!

Nat Silverstein:
Thank you so much, Bobbi! Thank you for having me.

Bobbi Rebell:
This is such a treat because we are friends beyond the podcast. Our children actually went to school together.

Nat Silverstein:
Yes.

Bobbi Rebell:
It's so appropriate that you finally, finally wrote a book. You run the New York chapter of Doing Good Together, and now you've written the book Simple Acts: The Busy Family's Guide to Giving Back, so congratulations.

Nat Silverstein:
Thank you, thank you so much. A few years back, my kids were little, I have an 18-year-old, an almost-16-year-old, and an 11-year-old, same as you, and I really was just searching around New York City, trying to find volunteer opportunities, organizations, nonprofits, that would take us as volunteers. I just was sort of astonished at the number of people in need in this city, in this community, and the lack of opportunities for me to volunteer and to do good with my kids. I always joke around, you can get Chinese food at four in the morning, you can get anything you want any time in New York City, but I could not, for the life of me, find a place that would welcome my young children to volunteer, so I thought I would create something on my own.

Nat Silverstein:
Instead of creating a website, or a listing, or a subscriber list, I sort of noodled around on the internet and I found Doing Good Together, which is based in Minneapolis. It's been around for about 15 years, and they had a fantastic family-friendly listing of volunteer opportunities that they sent out to subscribers every month. I reached out to the founder and I said, "I'd like to do this, I'd like to franchise your idea and be your person on the ground in New York City." She flipped out and said, "This is exactly what I've always wanted, I've wanted to go national and spread the message of what we're doing here." I was the first other location, and now we're in several other cities, and so I curate this listing, and they push it out for me to all of my subscribers, and that's been really gratifying work. Through all of that, I did, as you mentioned, become sort of this defacto community service lady.

Bobbi Rebell:
As parents, and even if you're not a parent, you have people in your life, and you look at them, and you don't know if they really are understanding what they have and what other people don't have, and the importance of acts of kindness and simple things that you can give back. You're very candid in the book that you've had your own struggles with your own family about teaching them the values that you have and getting them to basically get on board.

Nat Silverstein:
Right.

Bobbi Rebell:
So tell us your money story.

Nat Silverstein:
I have three really wonderful kids. My son is in the middle, and while the two girls are very sort of emotionally connected, have very high EQ, super sensitive to other people's feelings, my boy is kind of a typical boy. When he was younger, he was a little bit head in the clouds, a little spacey. You'd be talking to him, and I joke around and say you could be crying hysterically in front of him and he'd be like, "Oh, gee, do you have a cookie?" He's a wonderful, affectionate, warm person, but when he was younger it really felt like it didn't quite connect, he didn't connect all the dots. I joked around that I sort of worried that he lacked this empathy chip, this piece of your soul that kind of connects to other people and understands what people are going through.

Nat Silverstein:
One day, we're on the subway, he and I, and he was young, maybe like seven or eight. There was a gentleman panhandling on the subway, as happens very frequently here in New York City. The gentleman was telling his story very passionately, and asking for help genuinely and articulately, and everyone on the subway is doing what people mostly do here in New York. They look down, looking at their phones, sort of ignoring him, not really making eye contact with him. It is very difficult to deal with homelessness in the street when you are dealing with it, because it would be very hard to help every single person.

Nat Silverstein:
But I'm sitting there and I'm looking at my son, I'm seeing him process all of this, and very quietly, and he didn't even look up while he was doing it, he unzipped the little side pocket, you know there's little pockets on the jacket, and he put his hand in, and he pulled out a nickel. Honestly, I don't know where he got this nickel. He probably found it on the street or found it on the playground, stuck it in his little zipper pocket, this little hidden pocket. He just pulled it out, and when the man came by, he kind of quietly put it in his cup, didn't look up at him. I was so moved in that moment, I just was like, first of all, where did this come from? He obviously understood that he had something that he didn't need and that he could give it to this man. Again, very quietly, without any fanfare.

Nat Silverstein:
I will fast-forward and tell you that we were just on the subway again together the other day, and the same thing happened. He's a big boy now, he's almost 16, and he pulled out his wallet, and he took out a dollar, and he put it in the man's cup before we got off the train. So I worried about him, and I didn't know if he was getting it all along, and he really kind of got it. It was gratifying to me, but every kid has to come at this and to this at their own speed. All kids are different, we know that, and again, it has to be all of this, doing service, acts of kindness, philanthropy, these have to be conversations and things that happen in your family on an ongoing everyday routine basis, because those are the drops in the bucket, those are the things that really fill out a kid's character, for sure.

Bobbi Rebell:
What kind of conversation did you have with him after this happened when he was younger? How old was he?

Nat Silverstein:
He was seven or eight. He was really little.

Bobbi Rebell:
Did you have a conversation? What was it like?

Nat Silverstein:
I did. We were holding hands, walking out of the subway, and I was like, "Oh, I'm really proud of you for doing that. I didn't know that you had that in your pocket, and I was kind of surprised." He didn't want to talk about it so much. I think that's the other thing, there's a lot of, my book talks about, reflection and really giving kids space to ask questions and to talk about what they'd like to do in terms of moving forward. Would they like to continue to do service in this way, and how did they feel about what they saw and what they heard? But there's also a little bit of, you don't want to over-talk it, and you want to just let it kind of be a part of the way that you move through the world. I just told him I was really proud of him and I thought that that was a really nice, kind thing to do, and that hopefully this man would be able to get some food with that money.

Bobbi Rebell:
What is the lesson for our listeners from that story?

Nat Silverstein:
I think it's watching and listening to your own kids, teaching about money, learning about money, and particularly learning about philanthropy and sharing of your resources is very personal to a family. These concepts of generosity, and service, and empathy, all of that goes along with a conversation about money and gratitude for what we have, and understanding and acknowledging that not everyone in the world has as much as we do, so how lucky we are. Also, what are the ways in which we can help other people who maybe don't have as much?

Nat Silverstein:
There's a lot of language around this social justice stuff. We talk about not calling someone a homeless person, but a person who is experiencing homelessness, because the notion is, "There but for the grace of God go I." homeless people generally are people who had a home, had a job, had a family. Something has happened, right now they're experiencing this, hopefully they can get help and they can find a home, find a job, go back to school. So much of the language around philanthropy and service has sort of judgment around financial and socioeconomic status, and so I just think these are important conversations to have with kids, and to always talk about how grateful we are for what we have. To be honest, it's not always going to be perfect, and sometimes things aren't going to go perfectly when you're doing volunteer work and that sort of thing, but just kind of always keeping the lines of communication open with kids on this.

Bobbi Rebell:
I like what you said about learning not to judge, because that's something even just among adults, we should not judge people that are going through tough times.

Nat Silverstein:
Sure. Words like impoverished, and needy, and hungry, yes, food insecurity is a real thing, and I think that phrase has really come up lately. The notion that kids go to school hungry every day and it's not because they don't have homes, or families that love them, or their parents don't have jobs, it's because at the end of the month, money starts to run tight, and there's not as much food. We know that a lot of kids get their meals at school, and so kids need to understand that this is a real thing that happens to a lot of children in their own communities, and that there are simple things that they can be doing, that your family can be doing, to help others who are in that position, and hopefully help them to get out of that position. It's not always a handout, it's a hand-up.

Bobbi Rebell:
Let's move onto your money tip, because this basically will tell us all how we can execute these ideas, specific apps that will make it easier to have your children get involved and give back.

Nat Silverstein:
One idea in particular that I wanted to share is if you have a child who's celebrating a birthday, or a bar mitzvah, or a sweet 16, or a confirmation, or anything, any wonderful milestone, and they would like to make some sort of charitable donation as part of that celebration, which I think is so critically important, and shows that in our joy, we are able to share that joy with others who perhaps are in need, there are a couple of websites, one's called ECHOage, one's called Kids Can Give Too, and these are gift sharing websites. The birthday child, or the special event child, registers with their website, selects a charity to support, there are literally hundreds to choose from, and then asks guests, in lieu of getting gifts, to make a monetary donation on the website.

Nat Silverstein:
The website collects all the funds and splits it, and I think in some cases the kids can even say how much of a split they want. Do they want 50/50? Do they want 60/40? Do they want 70/30? So that's sort of an interesting conversation, too. The child can say, "I want to do 50/50." Half of the money they collect through this website from their guests, and their friends, and their family, will go to the charity of their choosing, and half will come back to them so they can select one special, important gift for them. It's kind of a win/win, everybody feels like they've given something to the child, and the child feels like they've given back something to a charity that they care about. I do find sometimes when you ask for in lieu of gifts, people don't like doing that because they want so much to give a gift, and I totally get it, so this is sort of the best of both worlds.

Bobbi Rebell:
Because the kid is still getting a gift, so they're more likely to do it, because sometimes people, as you said, they just end up not doing anything rather than go to the toy store. That's a great solution.

Bobbi Rebell:
Where can people learn more about you and about your book, Simple Acts: A Busy Family's Guide to Giving Back, and all the other ventures that you're involved with?

Nat Silverstein:
Well, I am on Instagram, simpleacts_guide, so if you look at simpleacts_guide, you'll find me. Facebook, Twitter, also simpleacts_guide. I have a website, simpleactsguide.com, and of course the Gryphon House website. Gryphon House is my publisher, and they have lots of pages of my background, and a little more information about the book, and ways that you can order the book.

Bobbi Rebell:
Awesome. Thank you so much, Natalie, this was amazing.

Nat Silverstein:
Thank you, Bobbi, I really appreciate it.

Bobbi Rebell:
Hey, friends. When it comes to role models, Natalie is the total package. Here's my take on what she had to say.

Bobbi Rebell:
Financial grownup tip number one: family is how you define it. The subtitle of this book is The Busy Family's Guide to Giving Back. Just because you don't have young kids, don't let that stop you. Pick up Natalie's book and get going with your family, again, however you define family.

Bobbi Rebell:
Financial grownup tip number two: plan ahead for how you are going to interact with people that may be less fortunate than you, and decide in advance, for example, if you are out with a child, maybe your own child, maybe a niece, a nephew, a friend's child, what have you, if you see a homeless person, for example, how are you going to handle it? As Natalie said, that is a personal choice, but in the moment, you might panic and not have the right language, and so if this child asks you about it, it's important that you approach it using the right words. As Natalie pointed out, those words that we use, for example, saying food insecure, or experiencing homelessness, using those kinds of choices, they can really shape the perception of a child when they encounter these very precarious and difficult situations.

Bobbi Rebell:
By the way, for more specific tips, Natalie did stick around and taped a Financial Grownup Guide episode about ways to be a kinder financial grownup, so make sure that you are subscribed, because it's a really special episode, and we will be rolling it out in just a couple of weeks.

Bobbi Rebell:
Big thanks to Natalie Silverstein for really being the ultimate role model and helping us all get one step closer to being financial grownups.

Bobbi Rebell:
Financial Grownup with Bobbie Rebell is edited and produced by Steve Stewart, and is a BRK Media production.