In a special behind the scenes episode, Bobbi reveals how her own parenting challenges inspired her new book: Launching Financial Grownups: Live Your Richest Life by Helping Your (Almost) Adult Kids Become Everyday Money Smart, and how it can help you.
5 Secret Reasons I Wrote Launching Financial Grownups
Reason 1 - I could not get my own almost adult kids to care enough to act and complete the money stuff I knew would be really good for them.
Reason 2 - Things really are different for this generation.
Reason 3 - Parents of my generation parented different up to this point which has had benefits and consequences.
Reason 4 - The kids said they totally got it- but they didn’t.
Reason 5 - I realized my dad was right about so many things, even though I didn’t listen to him at the time.
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Full Transcript:
Grownups: this is a big week for me and I’m super excited but also really nervous. I’m also grateful for your support. Many of you have told me you pre-ordered copies of Launching Financial Grownups and are going to write reviews on Amazon as soon as the book comes out on March 22. Thank you. Thank you so much. And thank you in advance if you are putting this on pause to order your copy right now. Advance sales are a huge thing.
And like a lot of you guys I have been struggling recently- In my case, we’ve been doing construction in my home and I don’t have access to my bedroom- slash- office- so I’m kind of a nomad when it comes to a place to work and I’m soooo far behind in terms of the ambitious plans to get the word out about Launching Financial Grownups. My husband and I also have had a really bad case of the flu- we’ve tested negative for covid so we think that’s what it is- and so I’ve been totally knocked out for days on end. And then of course- watching the news it traumatic but I also think we need to be aware and be thankful for all we have- and family, friends and loved ones are at the top of the list. So when I say your support is priceless. I mean it.
I’ve been mentioning this new book Launching Financial Grownups but what I have not done yet is really talk about WHY the heck I wrote it. So I wanted to share some behind the scenes secrets and insights into my own parenting and money challenges, and how I’ve dealt with them and I hope that can help everyone in this grownup community.
Reason 1. I could not get my almost adult kids to care enough to act and complete the money stuff I knew would be really good for them.
When I tried to get them to do things, like open a Roth IRA because they earned good money- they yes’d me but it didn’t get done. I gave them all the tools I thought they needed. They could use my advisor at a major discount brokerage, or they could use a robo advisor, or set up their own investment account or use an app or whatever. I offered to make appointments for them.. nothing was working. You can read more about it in the book but there was always something more urgent- and then the deadline came. In other words- I was failing!
Reason 2: Things really are different for this generation. Some are really good- like being able to keep young adults on health insurance until they are 26 -but they have also have skewed our perception of when adulthood starts in terms of money and supporting themselves. Kids also have a lot to deal with- many have student debt, they have a lot of social pressure to live a certain lifestyle thanks to social media, they have less structure when it comes to careers thanks to the gig economy and so on. And also inflation - things are super expensive. And so it’s no surprise that our kids don’t really feel like adults when they hit a certain age.
Reason 3 We- my husband and I but also parents of our generation- parented different up to this point- and that has had benefits- and consequences. If we are being honest, many of us have prioritized our kids above all else and our strongest identity is as their parent. There were years when I had friends- actual friends- that I would reference as so and so’s mom. And now that they are teens and young adults what I am seeing with me and some of my friends is that under the guise of helping them, we were sometimes using money as a way to stay tied to our kids. I remember being lost when our youngest was old enough to get himself to school and his various other activities because I suddenly had sooo much time on my hands. And yes- that’s when we started playing golf more seriously! Joking aside- we are scared of losing of something that has been such a major part of our everyday lives- and keeping financial ties is a way to well, stay tied.
Reason 4 The kids said they totally got it- but they didn’t. In other words, they didn’t know what they didn’t know. So what do I mean by this. Well, a friend recently told me how proud she was that her child bought their own airline ticket. The child also proudly said that they bought the trip insurance. And they were proud they did this without consulting the mom. But here’s the thing- they didn’t remember what was paid- they didn’t know what the insurance actually covered- and they didn’t check if the credit card they were using (or one that they could have used) carried insurance already so they didn’t even need to buy trip insurance. Think of it like a wingman- but for grownup finances. We need to let them lead but also be there to keep them on track and make sure they have all the info they need to make the best financial decisions.
Reason 5 I realized my dad was right about so many things, even though I didn’t listen to him at the time. Launching Financial Grownups is dedicated to my dad for good reason. He did so many things right and it’s only now, as I struggle to help my own kids, that I truly fully can appreciate them. For example: While he was always generous in giving me and my siblings money in college- he made us each sit down with him and present him with the amount of money we thought we would need for an entire semester, and why. And after that we were on our own. He didn’t ask for details - just a broad explanation of what we needed and what it was covering- because he expected us to manage the details on our own. We also all always had jobs- that we got ourselves. I worked at a bakery where I still remember the first $10 I made at the minimum wage job went to pay for a lovely yellow polyester uniform. I did gift wrap at a department store and folded clothing at a retail chain store. He didn’t micro-manage any of this- in fact I’m not sure he could tell you want any of our jobs were and that’s not a bad thing- because it was on US to have that extra spending money. He and my mom were not helicopter parents- but I always felt like they would be there with a landing pad if it ever looked like we were going to crash.
There’s only so much I can cover in a podcast but there is so much more in the book. You can pre-order Launching Financial Grownups it in all the places but we’ll leave a direct link in the shownotes- and pls stay in touch by following me - and dm-ing me with your thoughts on the book and any questions you may have on instagram at bobbirebell1 and on twitter at bobbirebell. You can get on my newsletter list by going to my website at bobbirebell.com.
Big thanks and congrats to all of YOU - for being financial grownups.